Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裏。他媽媽問，“發生了什麽事？” “壹個男孩咬了我壹口，”伊凡說。“再見到他妳能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。“他走到哪裏我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裏呢？ 他的耳朵在我衣兜裏
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy." A Good Boy
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給妳的錢幹什麽了？” 好孩子
“我給了壹個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “妳真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說“再給妳兩分錢。可妳為什麽對那位老太太那麽感興趣呢？“她是個賣糖果的。”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy.
好客
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裏沒有奶酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了壹會兒，他拿著壹片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子裏。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴裏說：“孩子，妳的眼睛就是比妳媽媽的好。妳在哪裏找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
面試人員給壹位前來應征的男士壹張履歷表，於是就填了這樣的信息——
姓名：English or Chinese□英文的還是中文的？
年齡：Confidential（這是私人問題）
身高：Not related to the job（這跟工作有關系麽）
體重：Varies all the time before lunch or after（隨時改變飯前飯後都不同
居住地：At what stage of my life please be more specific（那是壹個特別的地方，我生命的舞臺）
電話：Ericsson（愛立信手機）
電子郵件：Only give to pretty and rich girls（只留給漂亮和富有的女孩）
上班時間：The shorter the better（越短越好）
應征職位：A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and young girls（找壹個不做什麽實事，但能被美女包圍的職位）
學歷：Graduated at the wild chicken university（畢業於壹個妳找不著的大學
語言能力：Fluent in bullshits（侃大山是專長）
興趣：Sleeping and sleeping（睡得天昏地暗）
生日：正月初七
經歷：Fooling around all the time（遊戲人生）
曾任職位：Decent or not decent□please be more specific（高級的或者低級的都是壹種經歷）
已婚未婚：Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl□hopefully can find in your company（我正在尋找漂亮又富有的女孩，希望在妳們公司能找到
未來期望：Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible（只負責主席臺講話，並且希望盡早退休）
希望待遇：Lesser workload the better（比實際工作量拿得多就行
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"